(via stolen-ferrari)
god I am so tired of people throwing roses at my feet as I walk by
(via thebootydiaries)
(via basket)
(via stolen-ferrari)
(via open)
Finding a woman sobbing because she had locked her keys in the car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help.
She watches amazed as he takes off his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically it opens.
“That’s so clever!” the woman exclaims. “How did you do that?”
“Easy,” replied the soldier, “These are my khakis.”
